T'was the month after Christmas...

Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.



A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked;
'How heavy is this glass of water?'

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'

He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management..
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '

'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"Recalled" by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up...OK?!

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade.....
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.....

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn’t know everything!

14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn’t have a clue.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's so... yesterday!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the door way to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!


A real classic owned and operated by a real classic!

If you love cars, you'll especially like this video!

This is a great story about an older woman and her car. She even drives it to her 70th reunion!

She has driven this car 540,000+ miles

Click here to watch this great video


A 15 year old kid in Ohio wrote the NEW school prayer...

Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords Prayer
Are not allowed in Schools anymore
Because the word 'God' is mentioned
a 15 year old kid from Ohio wrote this.

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise..
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!



Why you should never argue with a woman...

A humorous little story!

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
Cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take
a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet
up, And begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning,
Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking,'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For
all I know you could start at any moment. I'll
have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with
sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For
all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.


Why I love the mountains so much

By Lynn Arave
Deseret News
Dec. 6, 2008

Can mountain tops lift and inspire us to greater spiritual heights?

"Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord," a portion of Micah 4:2 in the Old Testament states. Mountains and hills are often times prominent, holy places in scripture.

For example, Jesus Christ sat upon the Mount of Olives (Matthew 24:3); Moses received the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai (Exodus Chapters 19-20); and Israel was commanded to serve the Lord in his holy mountain (Ezekiel 20:40);

Indeed, in nearly all of the world's major religions, mountains characterize special spiritual significance. But why?

Mountains are physically impressive creations and could symbolically be viewed as being nearer to God or heaven from their lofty locations. They usually require extra effort on man's part to climb them and they generally offer more solitude and quiet than most valley locations do.

"Mountains also play prominently in the accounts of Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Isaiah, Jesus and other biblical prophets," Greg Witt, an author and outdoor guide, who lives in Provo, states. "Certainly for Latter-day Saints mountains not only have clear temple significance, but we also have a strong cultural connection with mountains, having crossed them in wagons and handcarts and built our home in the 'strength of the everlasting hills.' "

Witt continues: "Each year I hike hundreds of miles in the Wasatch, and guide in the Alps every summer, so I have plenty of opportunities to be in some great mountain settings. But there's more to mountains than just breathing fresh air and being in the great outdoors.

"Apart from the sense of accomplishment and personal triumph that comes with climbing a challenging mountain peak, I can also point to some great spiritual experiences as well. Admittedly, I've had some hairy experiences where my one thought is 'Lord, if you can pull me out of this alive, I'll do whatever.' But more frequently, I can recall some wonderful spiritual promptings, deep feelings of gratitude, specific revelation, and spiritual guidance that have come in mountain settings. I can remember exactly where I was, and which mountain was associated with each experience."

Brian Brinkerhoff is another Utah outdoorsman with a lot of experience with mountains.

"Some of my best memories have always been with family in the mountains," he said. "When we spend time together camping, hiking or fishing, we absorb the vivid scenery, breathe the fresh morning air and rediscover what the Lord has given us. I always feel nearer to the Lord when I am in the mountains admiring His great creations. For me it is like a reset button that makes me whole again. My wife has seen it on my face several times after returning from the mountains."

He said mountains are a source of inspiration for his busy life.

"I am drawn to the outdoors because I do feel closer to the Lord. Thoughts are often clearer and less distracted … I think many of us hunger for these experiences, but fail to turn down to volume of daily life to hear the messages that are always out there.

"Part of anyone's spiritual growth requires some time of quiet reflection. The mountains elevate us and take us away from noisy phones, telephones, traffic of home and allow us see beyond our small limited viewpoints. Not only does a hike to a mountain summit physically take us to higher elevations for great vista views, it can also elevate us spiritually, providing an opportunity to reflect on our lives and see ourselves more clearly as we make the journey.

"I have often headed to the mountains to read the scriptures or reflect on life. … Life in the mountains is an oasis in the deserts of daily existence and there is something special for those with open eyes and open hearts as they venture into the backcountry.

Even those who say they may not be particularly religious may feel something spiritual on mountain tops.

"I can't say that there is anything 'religious' about climbing/hiking mountains but it has always appealed to my 'spiritual' side in a big way," Mark Styczynski of New York and a member of the Highpointers Club, stated recently on America's Roof Web forum.

"Great way of blocking out all the day-to-day static and giving a dose of perspective about all the things we all get stressed out about," he continued. "There is something soothing and peaceful about knowing that the mountains were there long before us and will remain long after we're gone. All of man's creations and concerns are nothing more than blips in time."

Jesus Christ also went into the wilderness as he was fasting 40 days and tempted by the devil (Matthew Chapter 4). Some believe that not just mountains, but deserts, lava flows and other solitary places of nature can all foster spiritual experiences in man.

Catholics believe that they should worship and give thanks to God in Holy Mass. The Catholic Conservation Center, conservation.catholic.org, urges: "Contemplate the wonders of God's creation in the woods, by the sea, in a park, on a mountain, on a farm or in a garden. Many people can sense the presence of the Lord in the midst of nature."

"Faced with the glory of the Trinity in creation, we must contemplate, sing and rediscover awe," Pope John Paul II said.

"To be aware of God in nature should also lead us to praise the Lord in worship at Mass. And our experience in Mass should make us more aware of God in nature. The relationship between experiencing God in nature and in worship is truly of mutual benefit!"

The Mormon pioneers used Ensign Peak as an outdoor temple soon after arriving in the Salt Lake Valley, until the Endowment House was constructed.

LDS temples generally represent mountains, where anciently they were climbed for solitude and a private communion with deity. Indeed the gray granite walls of the Salt Lake Temple were mined from the Wasatch Mountains and symbolize the enduring and eternal nature of the ordinances performed therein and of the everlasting hills (from "The Salt Lake Temple," by Dean R. Zimmerman, New Era Magazine, June 1978).

American Indians, like the Navajos, believe some mountains are sacred. Navajo Mountain, in Utah and northeast of Page, Ariz., is one such monolith. The San Francisco Mountains, north of Flagstaff, Ariz., are others.

Mountains make good places for meditation, because of their rugged, remote locations. The lofty, panoramic views from mountain tops can also tend to bring one's life into focus better. There is even the symbolism there of being nearer to the heavens and leaving civilization behind and temporarily entering into a simpler, less complicated existence.

Can you worship God as effectively on a mountain peak as in a cathedral?

Tod Bolsinger, a pastor at San Clemente, Calif., Presbyterian Church, wrote in his "It takes a church ..." blog at bolsinger.blogs.com on June 9, 2005, that some confuse worship and inspiration.

"Inspiration is when God illumines our lives with his gracious presence," Bolsinger wrote. "Worship is our response to those moments. If we truly want to honor the God who gave us perfect swells, clear trout streams, ski slopes, golf greens, beautiful children and loving spouses, we should enjoy those things six days a week and then give God the worship he commands on the seventh. Worship always includes gathering with God's people and participating in 'spirit and in truth' (John 4:24).

"In an odd sense, the only real way to honor the Creator of all outdoors is to get inside a church," he concluded.

Notwithstanding, mountains and peaks can be dangerous places, based on lightning, exposure, cliffs, etc. Caution and common sense should always be exercised in the outdoors, especially if hiking alone — an extra risky practice.